Carleton Place Positive Change Centre
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|Posted on September 14, 2015 at 11:33 AM||comments (302)|
I am very honoured to announce that the Carleton Place Positive Change Centre has been nominated for the Carleton Place Chamber of Commerce 'Customer Service ' award!
My business is built on customer service, but confidentiality is paramount, so it's often difficult to let people know about our excellent level of customer service and satisfaction.
Thank you to the Chamber of Commerce for recognizing the quality provided in my practice and to the member who nominated me.
There are several other excellent businesses also nominated in this category and I applaud all of them.
Every one of our businesses deserves to win the award, but even being nominated is an honour and a wonderful recommendation!
|Posted on August 24, 2014 at 11:31 AM||comments (275)|
Title: We All Have Pain, It's How We Handle It that Defines Us.
I was speaking with a client this week, about the statement,
" We've all suffered, had trauma and losses. It's how we handle them that defines us."
I'm not sure who said that, but they made a good point.
How do we choose to handle the pain, loss and trauma in our lives?
These things are part of life. How we learn to cope with them will shape our experience.
I so often see people causing themselves more pain and/or becoming hopeless simply by choosing to cope with difficult circumstances, in a reactive, short-sighted way.
When we are hurting, we have a tendency to be reactive We may lash out or grasp at whatever gives us immediate gratification, a short-lived feeling of happiness.
Unfortunately, these types of coping mechanisms usually include pleasure inducing activities like drug or alcohol use/abuse, indiscriminant sexual activity, gambling, uncontrolled shopping, even over-the-top people pleasing. These are behaviours that feed our ego. They will give us some sense of immediate pleasure, but it’s fleeting and often comes with great cost or negative after effects.
We do need to do something to soothe and restore ourselves when we’ve been hurt, or experienced a loss or trauma. But despite what our instant gratification, ‘take a pill and make it all go away’ promoting society says, we need to make the effort to find or create the coping strategy that feeds our soul, not our ego.
By this I mean something, that helps you feel more whole; expresses who you are; giving you a lasting feeling of contentment, not just a fleeting moment of pleasure.
This involves exercising another part of ourselves that our society does not encourage; our creative side.
We are creative beings. We need to create, to learn about ourselves; to express ourselves to ourselves and others. Our society tends to teach that if your creative interest cannot be used to make money or build status, it’s a meaningless and useless pursuit.
But in fact, even if you’re not the next Keith Urban, Katie Perry, Picasso or Crosby, you have a creative spirit that needs to be expressed for you to feel whole. If it makes you feel fulfilled, then do it!
It doesn’t have to be expensive. Maybe it’s just making time to walk in the woods and take a few photographs, plant a garden, take a painting or potting class, volunteer for a cause you love, return to a hobby you loved as a child or learn one you’ve always been curious about.
It takes a little more effort and thought than just having the waiter bring you another drink, but it will be worth it.
It will open new windows to your inner self and to a new view of the world and your place in it.
It will soothe you and fulfill you in a long-lasting way that a new pair of shoes or even a new car cannot.
Try it and discover how wonderful and happy you can really be.
|Posted on July 21, 2014 at 9:03 PM||comments (374)|
What if our task is the journey?
Our western society is very task-oriented. This was ‘the new world’; our ancestors came here pursuing change; to start a new life that was different and hopefully better than the one they had left behind.
We are by nature, a forward looking people. We anticipate the next new development, next season, next scientific advancement. We teach our children to move forward, to strive, to achieve.
All these things are important and necessary goals, but the flip side of all this drive towards progress, is that sometimes, we are so focused on moving forward, we totally miss the joys of where we are presently.
We’re like the child who doesn’t stop to enjoy one birthday gift, before he is opening the next! The child misses the joy, the importance of each special gift, because he’s dashed on to the next .
We struggle to feel satisfied and at peace; to feel complete, because we are always pressing forward –/chasing/worrying about/planning-scheming our next move, toward the illusive goal.
We never notice how far we’ve come, let alone enjoy the experience.
I was recently speaking with a client who has always been a ‘task-oriented’ person. This has served them well in many ways and they have achieved success in their profession. But they now feel empty and a little lost, because the pursuit of the next achievement, is becoming unsatisfying. They are finding, that climbing the corporate ladder/getting to a higher pay grade is no longer satisfying or even important.
If that’s the case, what is there to strive for? Where do we find our direction, purpose and motivation?
If you are a task-oriented personality type, you don’t need to change that, but try looking at how you define your task.
What if we decided that the task was not the accepted outcome or goal, but rather the journey to that goal?
What if we chose to focus, not on pushing ahead to achieve that stated goal, but rather on this and each moment of the journey toward the goal?
What could we experience and learn in this moment that we might otherwise have raced right by, and how might that change the direction of our journey?
I suggest this, because we are all pushing/racing toward/pursuing the future goal, to the point that we are missing the joy and growth and contentment of the present moment.
We may or may not be able to achieve all the goals we have set for ourselves, but we can celebrate and be proud of the moments we have created and experienced along the way. Don’t miss these little moments that enrich life – the touch of a hand, the trust of a child, finding the next puzzle piece. When our child takes a first step, we celebrate – we don’t bemoan that there are thousands more to be taken and push them forward. If we do, they are sure to fall. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment, by only recognizing the outcome as achievement.
Strangely enough, if we practise being present in this moment instead of worrying about getting to the future goal, we will in fact, strengthen, support and speed our journey toward that goal. And we will enjoy the journey instead of always struggling toward an outcome that may in the end, not be fulfilling.
|Posted on October 9, 2013 at 10:01 PM||comments (519)|
12 Principles for Attitudinal Healing.
Today let’s think about things we can do to become more happy, content, at peace.
I’ve recently been reading some of the work of Dr. Lee Jampolsky (Psychologist and author).
He believes and I agree, that we don’t have to make huge, dramatic changes in our lives to improve our happiness and well-being (as well as that of those around us). It’s the little, kind, consistent things we do that can make all the difference in achieving peace of mind.
Dr. Jampolsky suggests 12 principles to keep in mind/practise to achieve ‘attitudinal healing’.
Principle One; The essence of our being is LOVE. To feel loved we must feel truly heard and to give love we must listen actively and authentically.
Principle Two; Health IS inner peace and healing Is letting go of fear.
Principle Three; Giving and receiving are the same thing. If you give unconditional love, you will receive it.
Principle Four; We CAN let go of the past and the future.
Principle Five; NOW is the only time there is and each moment is for giving.
Principle Six; We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.
Principle Seven; We can become love finders rather than fault finders.
Principle Eight; We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what’s happening outside.
Principle Nine; We are both students and teachers of each other.
Principle Ten; We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments.
Principle Eleven; Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed with fear.
Principle Twelve; We can always perceive ourselves and others as either extending love or calling for help.
Think about these ideas and how they could make a difference in your attitude toward life and therefore your life itself.
Practise these principles of attitudinal healing daily.
If ever you can’t think of a reason to smile, know that the solution is within you always: To Extend Love.
If you want to smile form your heart, do something kind with no expectation of recognition or reward.
All we need to do is share kindness, show compassion and understanding to those we know and all those we don’t, including all of nature.
Dr Jampolskys’ thinking is very similar to the concept of 'paying it forward’.
Choose one person you know and one person you don’t know, and do something kind for them without letting them know it was you. It’s fun. It will make you feel happier and one person at a time, it will change the world.
May we all smile upon each other and know we are loved.
|Posted on April 17, 2013 at 10:40 AM||comments (209)|
Check out this inspiring article.
It's SPRING! Let's start this season off fresh and new, by reinventing ourselves!
NetworkYour Way to Success
by KellyOrchard on April 16th, 2013
Networkingis an area of professional and personal development that has never been aproblem for me.
I’vealways been considered a “social butterfly.” Socializing comes easy for me,whether in-person or online…I’m a ‘connector’, a ‘hub’, even a ‘bird-dog’.
At least,that’s how I was once referred to by a colleague when I was effectively workingin the field of non-traditional marketing and putting different companiestogether with a common cause or marketing purpose, when others didn’t see theconnection.
Reinventing Yourself is a Necessary Process
Nowadays I’m in a season of reinvention…
Just like many people are in today’s world of economic downturn,business difficulties, relationship struggles, personal growth, spiritualshifts, and life-changes.
I don’tknow anybody who is happy and satisfied with the “status quo” – we’re all working toward improvement, growth, change; something different than what we have right now.
Itdoesn’t mean we’re all dissatisfied with what we have today, but our soulscontinually seek growth and change, it’s natural.
Springalways brings forth a sense of re-birth, renewal, and of course, reinvention.
Reinventingmyself was borne of a medical crisis that changed the personal and professionalpath that I was on.
Manypeople I know have experienced an event that has derailed their life – whetherit is a chronic illness, death of a loved one, loss of a relationship, job lossor dissatisfaction with the choices that they’ve made.
‘Changeis the one constant we can count on’. It has become one of my favorite phrases.No matter what season of life you find yourself in, there’s one thing we allhave in common…
Change Will Happen
Irecently attended a large convention for broadcast professionals.
I haveworked in the field of broadcast since I was a teen, and of course – a goodmajority of those years were spent learning how to navigate in the world ofbusiness.
It’sessential for me to network in the field of media professionals, and I found my way toward like-minded people who believe thatbroadcasters would benefit from someone with my skills and passion.
You see,not only do I understand the business of broadcasting and the challengesbroadcasters face today, but I’m also a trained mental health professional,with experience in organizational psychology and life-strategies based on apersonal perspective.
Ipractice what I preach!
It wasn’tvery long ago that I made the shift from media to mental health, but onlyrecently did I have a major “aha” moment that provided me with the idea toblend the two careers.
I findthat allowing myself the freedom to reinvent myself gives me the freedom to bepassionate about what I do.
So, howto you renew, refresh, reinvent yourself?
Are youfeeling stuck in a career you don’t want to be in anymore?
Are youstuck in a relationship that doesn’t work?
Have youexperienced some sort of life-derailing event that has changed yourperspective, your passion, or your goals?
Trust me,EVERYBODY has something in their life that affects them on a deep level.
Even theperson who appears to have it all – might just be the one person that is hidingthe biggest unhappiness.
Don’tjudge that person’s achievements or perceived happiness by what you see. The point is – the only thing any of us can count on is CHANGE.
Here are some tips for effectively networking your way to reinvention:
1.Identify what you’re passionate about and pursue it without fear.
Mypassion is media and mental health.
I havespent an entire career in media, and found that I really love mental health –organizational leadership, psychology, grief and loss, personal andprofessional development and individual coaching and counseling.
Iinvested in my education and training, and took the time to learn a new craft.
It tookcommitment, courage of my convictions, and a willingness to be humble enough tostart again – including stepping out of my comfort zone in order to reinvent mycareer path.
2. Behumble enough to ask questions, seek a mentor and learn from others.
No matterhow old you are or how long you’ve been in business, there’s always somethingnew to learn and people to learn from.
I’ve beenseeking mentors to guide me through every step of the process from the verybeginning.
When Ifirst began, my Dad was my mentor, and then it was other business professionalsin Victorville.
Inschool, I benefited from the wisdom of my professors, and now, I continue toseek out others who I feel will help me get to the next step in the process ofreinvention and growth.
I ask questions,I don’t expect to know all the answers — but what I do expect is to findsomething new to learn.
3.Network, network, network.
I can’tstress the importance of professional networking enough.
Half ofyour success will come from what you know.
The otherhalf will come from WHO you know.
I loveall my social networking activities, as cumbersome and time consuming as ittends to be, and I have learned to manage it within my own capabilities andtime constraints
I knowthat I can’t spend my entire day consumed with Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn,Pinterest and Google, but I’ve learned that neither can anybody else.
Networkingin real life with warm bodies is still the most important part of reinvention.For instance – I am connected to many professionals in LinkedIn. I know them bytheir picture, their profile and industry.
While Iwas attending the broadcast convention, I paid a fee to be part of a networkingevent, and wouldn’t you know – a lot of these professionals that I’ve connectedwith
on socialnetworks were there, live and in-person! And the best part was, they alreadyknew me!
Dive in to What You’rePassionate About
If you’rein a season of reinvention, which many of us are – don’t get stuck doing thesame old things you’ve always done.
Step out of your comfort zone, be willing to humble yourself to learnsomething new, and network with others who share your passion.
Reinventionis possible, so go for it!
Kelly Orchard is acracker jack change agent, business consultant, author, motivational publicspeaker, coach, marketing professional and Co-Host for It’s All About Women.
Aftermore than 30 years in broadcasting and sales and marketing, a serious healthcrisis and life-derailing event served as the catalyst for Kelly to make amajor career change. Kelly obtained her Master’s degree in Psychology with anemphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy.
|Posted on April 3, 2012 at 9:30 AM||comments (367)|
Write your post here.
I would like to share with you a concept first developed by Dr. Hans Selye, because I think it is crucial to maintaining personal mental/emotional health.
Our society teaches us that 'selfishness' is a character flaw or inappropriate behaviour. I agree that in the extreme, or to the extent that it oppresses or hurts someone else, it is.
However, Dr. Selye wrote about a concept he called "altruistic selfishness" and this kind of selfishness is something that we all need to be healthy and function optimally.
The idea is, that we need to be 'selfish' enough to ensure that we take care of ourselves in order that we will have the strength and energy to giveback to others we care about and our community.
I'm not talking about living only to please yourself with no concern for the well-being of others!
But we do need to make sure that we listen to our bodies and feelings, and respect our own true needs as much as we do the needs of others.
The golden rule is to love others AS you love yourself,
NOT BETTER than you love yourself, or INSTEAD of loving yourself.
Many of my clients (particularly, but not exclusively, women) struggle with this concept. They have been socialized to believe they must put the needs of others before their own.
.But that belief is ultimately self-defeating(it's also exhausting!)
Why? Let me use a familiar example.
When you board an airplane, the flight attendants go through the emergency procedures.
They will advise that if the oxygen mask drops down, you must place the mask on YOURSELF FIRST.
Most people want to put the mask on their loved ones/children first.
But the truth is, the safest practise is to put it on yourself first, because if you don't, you won't be able to help your loved one.
The same principle applies in life.
We must keep ourselves in good shape in order to be able to give to our loved ones and community.
If you are not physically, mentally,and emotionally healthy, then you are not functioning optimally. You don't have the strength and energy to participate fully and give to your community and your family and friends, the way you want to.
So, while you may want to be a support to those you care about, you actually hinder your ability to do so, by not caring adequately for yourself.
When people come to see me, they are usually under great stress. The first thing we do is checkout how well they are caring for themselves.
Back to the basics; getting enough quality sleep, eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, doing at least one thing per week that nurtures your soul.
So, until next time, be good to yourself, so you can be good to others!
Let me know how you care for yourself and feed your soul.
Let's start today to make a better tomorrow,